An Easter Sunday Energy Absurdity: Climate Change Now Officially Causes Everything

An Easter Sunday Energy Absurdity: Climate Change Now Officially Causes Everything

[Follow me on Twitter at @EnergyAbsurdity]

We’ve always known it would come down to this in the end. As climate change researchers strive to find more and more things to blame on their favored boogeyman in their unending quest for government rents to fund their professional endeavors, it was inevitable they would ultimately reach a point at which they find that literally everything in human experience is caused by the all-seeing, all-knowing, nefarious climate change.

They appear to have reached that point on Friday, with the release of a new “study” - no doubt paid for at least in part with money confiscated from taxpayers by the government - published in the Bulletin of the American Meteorological Society, researchers from Dartmouth College claim to find that climate change is responsible for a rise in … wait for it … HOME RUNS in major league baseball.

Sadly, the folks at Bloomberg choose to megaphone this ludicrous report, because, well, of course they did.

Here’s an excerpt from the Bloomberg story:

More than 500 MLB home runs since 2010 can be attributed to “historical warming,” the authors write. “Several hundred additional home runs per season are projected due to future warming.” 

The team behind the study — led by Christopher Callahan, a doctoral candidate in geography — determined that a 1C increase in the daily high temperature on the day a baseball game is played (in a non-domed stadium) increases the number of home runs by 1.96%. In games played in the early afternoon, the effect is larger: 2.4%. 

Global warming of 2C above preindustrial levels, the upper target set by the Paris Agreement to avoid the most cataclysmic impacts, would translate to several more home runs per year each at Chicago’s Wrigley Field, Detroit’s Comerica Park and Target Field in Minneapolis, according to the research. 

“I was inspired to work on this study as a baseball fan, wondering about how climate change will affect the things I care about,” Callahan told Bloomberg Green. “I knew that this link between home runs and temperature had been proposed previously by folks like Dr. Alan Nathan, but I was curious about whether it could be seen in the large-scale data, as well as what the role of climate change might be.” 

[End]

You just could never make this stuff up, folks. And who in their right mind would ever even dream of trying?

I was going to take today off from writing because it is, after all, Easter Sunday. But I decided to go ahead with this one just to point out that it is only a matter of time until some geography major (like the author of this “study”) publishes a report, funded by some western government, claiming to prove that Christ’s ability to rise from the grave was only possible thanks to climate change.

Because that all-encompassing boogeyman is, after all, more of a deity in pop culture now than Jesus himself.

Happy Easter, and God bless you all.