Campaign Update: A Rodent Predicts the Weather as Trump Works to End the Liberal World Order

Welcome to Feb. 2, the second dumbest day of every year in the United States, right behind the idiotic bi-annual Daylight Savings Time rituals.

Feb. 2 is, of course, Groundhog Day, that day when we are asked to believe that some big, fat rodent called Punxatawny Phil can predict the damn weather. Hell, of a groundhog can predict the weather, why don’t we save billions of dollars and dismantle the National Weather Service and NOAA?

Anyway, ABC reports that the fat rodent predicted 6 more weeks of winter this morning when it saw its shadow before being manhandled by several goofy men dressed up in top hats and tails before a crowd of thousands of onlookers who apparently have nothing important happening in their sad lives.

So, we got that going for us.

In other news, President Donald Trump slapped tariffs on Canada, Mexico, and China - or “chy-na!” as he pronounces it - on Saturday: