Campaign Update: Crocodile Trump says 'That's not a fundraiser. THIS is a fundraiser.'

When Donald Trump threw a fundraiser over the weekend, he didn’t do it in Manhattan and tie up traffic across the 5 boroughs for hours with his motorcade. He didn’t do it in the shadow of the Central Park district where billionaires from all over the world occupy 10-figure condos. He didn’t have any bad late-night comics on-hand to serve as emcee.

He didn’t have the drawing power of a pair of ex-presidents, or even one ex-president, because God knows nobody named Bush could possibly ever go against the Deep State by being seen in the same zip code as the dreaded populist Trump. Hell, it’s kind of amazing, really, that George W. didn’t agree to show up for the Sock Puppet’s funder with this “brother from another mother” Bill Clinton last week.

That March 28 New York City funder was where Clinton and Obama and lots of other fabulously wealthy clients of Jeffrey Epstein - who did not kill himself - brought in what was widely characterized as a “record” $25.5 million for Old Joe’s sort-of campaign, and the media went ga-ga over it.

To which Donald Trump apparently looked at Melania Trump and said, “hold my Diet Coke,” because he’s a teetotaler, you know.