Monday's Monstrous Absurdities: Biden Spends President's Day in the Wrong Country

Any normal, real president of the United States of America would have visited East Palestine by now. Heck, any real POTUS would have been in that town within a week of the Norfolk Southern derailment.

But America doesn’t have a normal, real president - instead, it has a Sock Puppet, a barely functional nominal occupant of the White House who goes where his handlers tell him to go and reads whatever his handlers tell him to read from his ever-present TelePrompter. Being that today is President’s Day, the holiday on which Americans and whomever the current POTUS has been have traditionally celebrated the memories of George Washington, Abraham Lincoln and the other greats who have held the office, one might have thought the Sock Puppet would have been instructed to give a little talk from the White House to the American people, if nothing else saying some kind words about Jimmy Carter, who entered hospice care over the weekend.

But that would be asking too much of this old reprobate, who most likely has to be reminded 2-3 times an hour who Jimmy Carter actually is and why he should say anything to honor him. Just bring him some more Tapioca pudding, this time with a little cinnamon on it, and let him know when his next reading is, and Old Joe is fine and dandy.