Saturday's Shower of Absurdities: When Punishments are Really Gifts

When is a punishment actually a gift? Well, here’s a good example…

The board of the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences rendered its verdict on Will Smith for girly-slapping Chris Rock during the Oscars ceremony two weeks ago:

That’s not a punishment, having an excuse not to watch the Oscars is an award in and of itself. Hell, if they wanted to really punish the Fresh Prince, they’d have forced him to host the damn show for the next 10 years.

Speaking of punishments that are really gifts, Friday gave us another great example:

Dear Los Angeles: As a citizen of the Great State of Texas, can we get y’all to impose the same ban for our state? We would really, truly appreciate not having y’all around these here parts. Thanks in advance.

Best parody of the week goes to whomever did this after Kamala broke out the UPS brown suit she wore to the State of the Union Address again yesterday:

il Donaldo Trumpo @PapiTrumpo

WHO DID THIS??🤣🤣🤣

That is 99 varieties of awesome right there.

Ooops. San Fran Nan’s new gig as a one-woman COVID super-spreader claimed another victim yesterday:

Benny @bennyjohnson

BREAKING: Rep. Angie Craig who was also at the White House event on Tuesday has tested positive for COVID-19

Hey, can we get her to go ahead and infect everyone in the House of Representatives just to make the country a little safer for a couple of weeks? Sounds like a great plan to me.

The increasingly great Peter Doocy of Fox News flummoxed Chucky Psaki one more time at Friday’s briefing:

The Post Millennial @TPostMillennial

Peter Doocy to Psaki: "It would be great if anybody that wanted a free phone and a free monthly plan could get one, so is that going to be an offer to everybody or just people that walk into the country illegally?"

Watching Doocy tie Psaki up in knots of fabricated talking points on a daily basis has been one of the few bright spots of this catastrophic Weekend at Brandon’s presidency. It almost makes you hate to see her go over to MSNBC later this month.

Almost.

From our “Gosh, was Corn Pop with you, too?” file, Old Joe the Sock Puppet was telling stories about adventures with the puppet master yesterday at the White House:

Townhall.com @townhallcom

BIDEN: "I was in the the foothills of the Himalayas with Xi Jinping, traveling with him, that's when I traveled 17,000 miles when I was Vice President. I don't know that for a fact.

“I don’t know that for a fact” describes this man’s entire life.

Speaking of this catastrophic presidency, the Best Roadside Sign of the Week goes to whomever put this together:

It’s perfect.

Oh, hey, just a random set of photos of Jeffrey Epstein’s pedophilia-enabling assistant Ghislaine Maxwell onstage and groping children at a Disney theme park in 1985:

You just can’t make this stuff up, folks. And why would you ever want to?

That is all.