Thursday's Throbbing Absurdities: Cornyn Turns Toddler on His Way Out Amid Schumer's Ballooning Emissions Profile
Nothing to see here, folks, just Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer passing roughly 3 thousand cubic feet of gas while making a speech on the floor of the U.S. Senate:
I would do a transcript of that one, but I’m not really sure how to put that particular noise into words. When I was in high school, my buddies and I might have called it a fwap, but I’m not sure that captures it quite correctly.
Anyway, we have to give ol’ Chuck a break: After all, someone had to take up the slack for congressional Democrats with Eric Swalwell no longer around.
Say, I wonder if we could get Al Gore to measure Schumer’s emissions profile for yesterday? That would be glorious.
In seemingly related news, Taco Bell is under investigation now for a parasite outbreak which is causing explosive diarrhea in unwitting customers:
Thus, the burning question: Did Schumer’s staffers cater in Taco Bell for lunch on Wednesday?
It would explain a hell of a lot.