Thursday's Throbbing Absurdities: The Queen of All the Scarves is Back With a New Face, and Other Threats to Our Freedom

Don’t look now, but Deborah Birx, the infamous Queen of All the Scarves, is back, and she’s had radical plastic surgery:

You know what that means, right? It means she’s copying the playbook used by Old Joe Biden, who also underwent a radical facial reconstruction in advance of his presidential run in 2020. Obviously, Dr. Birx is rested and ready for another round in the pandemic spotlight.

The only question is, which virus will fill the bill in this election year? Obviously, it’s going to be the Bird flu, which at least reportedly has been spreading among the cattle population in recent months. Birx naturally wants us to spend billions of dollars testing every cow on the planet just in case, you know.